self esteem after divorce

Viewing Divorce as a Growth Experience

It’s no secret that divorce is, for many people, one of the most painful experiences they’ll ever face. However, if you are willing to work through the pain and heartache, you may also find that it’s one of the greatest opportunities for growth you’ll ever have.

Learn more about utilizing divorce as an opportunity to become your best self, and for all the legal assistance you’ll need during this transitory time, call Kirk Drennan Law at 205-803-5000 to schedule a consultation.

Consider the Lessons Learned

You can start your journey forward by looking back. No matter what you’ve lost in your pursuit of a healthy marriage, no one can take the lessons you have learned away from you. The specific lessons you draw out depend largely on the circumstances of your relationship, but you can start by thinking about some lessons that others have taken away from the end of a marriage:

  • Every relationship requires a little adjusting by both parties.
  • If you constantly have to put yourself last to make a relationship work, it might not be worth it.
  • No matter how hard you work at a marriage, if it’s to the wrong person, you’re fighting a losing battle.
  • Don’t ignore compatibility issues.
  • Be willing to ask for outside help.
  • Your happiness is your own responsibility.
  • Fighting dirty makes any problem worse.

Remember the Sacrifices You Made for Your Marriage

If you’re like many people in the midst of a divorce, you are stuck thinking about what else you could have done to save your marriage. Have you ever stopped to think about what you already did to try to make your marriage work? You might deserve a pat on the back for everything you went through.

Think about any career changes you put on hold because the timing wasn’t convenient for your partner, trips you didn’t get to take because your partner wanted to go somewhere else, and little things you did every single day to make your partner’s life easier. By thinking about these sacrifices, you can build up your self-esteem and remind yourself that a failed marriage does not mean that you failed as a spouse or partner.

Delve Into What You Really Want from Life

Looking ahead, what does your dream life look like? If you were truly happy in your marriage and were blindsided by divorce paperwork, it might take you some time to think about this question and answer honestly. You might want to start from the end and work backwards.

When you get to the end of your life, what accomplishments do you want to look back on? Perhaps you want to spend more time volunteering at causes that matter to you, become a more patient parent, or try your hand in a new career path. Perhaps you love your current career, and you want to see what you can really do if you throw yourself into it. Maybe you skipped out on traveling because you were busy supporting your spouse’s dreams and priorities. This is a chance to start over and build your life from the ground up.

Make a Plan to Pursue Your Dreams

The first few years after a divorce can be challenging, especially if you were married for a long time. Think about how you want to start moving forward from this experience and working toward your goals but be kind to yourself. If you expect yourself to perform at 100 percent every day, you’ll burn out.

Recognize that this is a hard time and that there will be days you don’t even feel like getting out of bed. Create a realistic plan that allows plenty of time for grieving, but also gives you time to explore new hobbies, spend time with loved ones, and craft the life you deserve to have.

Discuss Your Divorce with the Team at Kirk Drennan Law

The first step to using divorce as a growth experience is making the divorce process as easy as possible. Our team is here to listen to what you want, help you develop a plan, and move forward to help you get what you want. Schedule a consultation now by giving us a call at 205-803-3500 or reaching out to us online.

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